Week 4 : Malay wedding

As I mentioned earlier, I was off to a wedding of two old friends of mine. Back when I was 13-15 years old, I studied in a boarding school. This girl was one of my closest friend back then, and the boy was this kid I used to argue with a lot in school. Back when we were 13, he was known as a motor mouth. Imagine my surprise when years later I bumped into her in a gym and she told me they were dating. An even bigger surprise came 4 years later when I received an invite on Facebook to their wedding (thanks Facebook!). So, 12 years since I last saw the groom, I headed down to their wedding.

Its actually not the easiest thing anymore to find a richly traditional Malay wedding. For this weekend I went over to the brides side which was done in a Kampung (village) on the outskirts of KL. I decided to bring my friend with me since this is one of those rare events for an outsider to witness if they dont know the right people or are in the right place at the right time.

Malay weddings typically provide a few hours window for you to arrive. Its usually quite informal with people walking in and out whenever they please. Attire is usually formal for the ladies (in traditional gear) whereas the men dress quite casually in shirts and pants. Jeans and khakis are fine, collared polo shirts are fine, though if you want to dress up a bit you can wear the traditional Malay attire or a Batik shirt.

When we arrived, I dropped by to say hi to my friend, afterwhich while she was getting ready, you get ushered out to eat. Food here is typically served buffet style. I love Malay wedding food for the nasi minyak, the rendang, the ayam.. MMMmMmMm... Little girls and boys might also come by and give you a hard boiled egg. Wrapped in little flowers or placed in a small box. Its for you to bring home or to eat on the spot, usually as a symbol of hopes for fertility. If there are no silverware around, just look out for the silver teapot on each table. You will be using this to wash your hands before you eat. Remember when eating with your hand you ONLY eat with your right one. Never the left, and never to use both hands. As for seating, its a free for all, so just say hi to the other people at the table and ask if you can sit with them.


(Wash your hands using one of these)


(Grab a seat wherever your would like)

After that, you wait for the groom's arrival. You will deff know when he is coming as he will be accompanied by Kompang players - a troupe of men playing hand drums. Beside him will be his best man, whose job is to fan him and slowly bring him to the bride, and beside him will be kids holding up the bunga manga. He will have a trail of people behind him carrying trays of items. These are known as the 'hantaran', or essentially presents for the wife. In typical fashion, the husband may offer 7 trays while the wife returns with 9, or the husband may give 5 trays and in return the wife gives 7. As for what are the presents? Its up to the discretion of the couple, though typically this includes prayer mats and items, shoes, handbag (for the ladies) and cookies/ sweets.


(The groom arrives with his entourage. Flanking him are boys carrying the bunga manga. His best man stands to his right)


(Behind him is a troupe of kompang players)

(His entourage comes bearing gifts)

The wife then comes out of the house to meet the husband whilst her face is covered by a fan until they are in front of each other. She will then salam (a Malay handshake where you hold on to both hands) her husbands hands and kiss them.

They then head over to a stage (pelamin) for the bersanding. Malay couples never speak and just sit quietly on the stage. The elder relatives are then invited up to bless the couple. They will put a bit of rice and shredded pandan leaves and flowers in each hand and sprinkle some rose water over the couple to bless them. As they leave the stage, they will receive an egg as a gift from the family.

(Elders blessing the couple)

Depending on how lucky you are, you may also get to witness a dance or martial arts performance. Usually the dance that is done is known as the Zapin, a traditional Malay dance and danced in front of the bride and groom. Sometimes a Silat performance is also done for the couple. Silat or also known as the Malay martial arts is done to symbolize the man's protection over the woman. As for what happens throughout this whole time?


(The girls enter for the Zapin dance)


(The boys accompany the girls)


(Old style Malay hair pins and selendang)

People would just mingle around, and chit chat. Like I said, traditional Malay weddings are pretty informal - nothing tends to start on time, its going to be super hot, people are walking everywhere and can be a bit chaotic. But because of that, its also a whole lot of fun.

So, if you ever get the opportunity to go to a Malay wedding... in the village... in traditional style, Go! Its slowly changing as people start moving to halls and to hotels for their weddings, but its these traditions that I would love to keep alive

(The beautiful couple. Congrats!)

Welcome to 2011

Hello again friends, apologies for not updating for the past few weekends (and yes dear sister, this shout-out is to you too). As soon as I came back it was the new years. I was far too tired and jet lagged to head out, but luckily for me, come midnight, they shot fireworks from a plot of land right outside my condo. As a result, I got to bring in new years with some fireworks while sitting in my favorite reading chair.





For the next weekend or so, I decided to just relax and go low key, thus hanging out at Pavilion (best mall in KL!) with mom, and just chilling out in Bangsar. Followed bry Friday nights with my colleagues, crashing my boss' house for munchies and drinks followed by partying the night away at Zouk.

I was then given my next assignment. 8 weeks in Singapore... that other city down south that always seems to do things 'better' than us. **Ive had people criticize my country, saying its nowhere as good as Singapore. To those people, I say - travel is about understanding another country, the good, the bad, the charm. Its about opening your eyes and learning how others live. Its not about going to other countries and saying "My country is better than yours na-na-na-na-boo-boo". If thats the case, please can you please just go home***

I do plan to come back on weekends, to visit family and keep up with friends. But this blog may be more difficult to update as a result of that. Ill try to keep it going as proxy, and keep it going whenever Im back.



Thaipusam came and went, and I completely missed it (yet again!) But a few of my friends did go to Batu Caves to watch it. And for those who are interested in seeing it again next year - it falls on the 20th of January and best place to see it is in Batu Caves. Head over there early - like at ~5:30 a.m. to watch the devoted walk up Batu Caves. Some carrying Kavadi's (the offerings are pierced through their bodies) as well as jars of milk as an offering to the Gods. Its truly an incredible sight and probably the largest one you can find (even in India its not ever this big and consolidated). You can hire a taxi to head over, or take the Komuter train over there. I think they open the trains up a little earlier on this special occasion.

And to start! Today is KL Pac's annual day! So in case you're interested, please head on over. www.klpac.com

As for me, I will be bringing my Spaniard friend out to a Malay friends wedding. I've come to realize not all my friends are aware of how a 'traditional' Malay wedding is like with the amazing Nasi Minyak and Ayam Masak Merah (both food). With the kompang and the bunga manga and the sitting on the dais and traditional clothes and all. So... Ill be heading over there soon and will post up pics later!

Happy weekends!